|
by Amanda Hathaway
“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.” (anon.)
 Cocktails have never frightened me. I generally consider them my friends and embrace them warmly when they cross my path – even when it’s a cocktail that’s at first a stranger to me. After a couple sips, we’re fast friends – a few more sips and we might even start singing sea shanties together. In that same group of friends: cocktail ingredients – the pretty bottles, many with cool stories about their origins (which often involve monks, oddly enough) and exotic names. Since reaching LDA (that’s industry-speak for “over 21”), these friends have been there for me in good times and bad. Trusted, reliable, comforting and never scary…
And then I met the Liquid Chef.
This past weekend, I was invited to his secret lab with a select group of industry peeps to learn from the master. For those who don’t know the Liquid Chef, his real name is Junior Merino and he’s one of the foremost educators and entrepreneurs in the booze biz. Hired by major liquor companies to create signature cocktails that will showcase how a spirit is best used and thereby support its marketing efforts, Junior is also the go-to cocktail consultant for bars and restaurants all over the world – from lounges at Walt Disney World in Florida, to hotels in Japan, to cruise lines traversing the oceans. In all likelihood, you’ve had one of Junior’s cocktails and didn’t even know it. You just knew it was damn good.
At 11am on an oppressively hot August Sunday, I found myself in a windowless room in the Bronx surrounded, floor-to-ceiling and wall-to-wall, by every spirit brand imaginable. If it weren’t for the giant AC unit trying to make a dent in the escalating temperature, spontaneous combustion would have been a very real risk. Organized by category (and quite possibly the Dewey decimal system), Junior’s lab had everything from the not-yet-released Pimm’s No. 3 Cup, to Scopion Mezcal (complete with scorpion), to Peruvian bitters, to vodka made from maple syrup, to all kinds of other drinkables and some not-so-drinkables.
I was there to make cocktails and all of a sudden, my trusted friends were not so trusted. I suddenly discovered how little I knew about my old friends – and over the next eight hours, all I learned was how much I had to learn.
To add to my anxiety, my fellow students were primarily bartenders. They already knew which side of the Boston shaker to point towards yourself to avoid liquid mayhem. They knew the difference between a Manhattan and a Bronx; I was impressed I had found my way to the Bronx! They knew how to affect the balance of a cocktail; I only knew the way a cocktail affected my balance.
As Junior’s lab sessions were funded by the brands he worked with, the day was punctuated by guided tastings in the vodka, gin, cachaça, tequila and mezcal categories. That’s right: FIVE categories. Six tastings in each – and we had to taste them all twice. After each tasting, we’d spend the next half-hour mixing two cocktails each with the featured spirit. The only rules: Use the sponsor brands. And then we had to taste each other’s creations. Six students, one teacher… Do the math, people: 60 straight spirit tastes; 70 cocktail tastes. In eight hours. By the eighth hour, the group was giggling at the very sight of a muddler.
My first attempt involved Russian Standard vodka, muddled peach, sour cherries, Combier and Domaine de Canton liqueurs. It worked. More or less. In the gin category (thanks to G’Vine), I went savory with cucumber, lemon juice and a garlicky herb I can’t name - would have been better as a salad. By the time I reached the tequila category, I had ventured into the weird: muddled white corn, blanco Siembra Azul, a splash of this… a dash of that (this was now 4pm – I don’t remember all the details). Believe it or not, it was quite good. Or perhaps my fellow students just took pity on me and smiled reassuringly. Junior encouraged everyone – every effort was “good” but only some warranted further interest and inquiry. He, meanwhile, wowed us with his molecular creations and other delicious treats (margarita marshmallows, anyone?).
I’ve always admired bartenders, but after a day in Junior’s lab, my admiration has evolved into awe. They’re not just artists, they’re scientists. In fact, mixologists and scientists share origins with the 19th century Russian chemist Dmitri Mendeleev who not only created the Periodic Table, but more importantly determined that vodka (and thereby all other spirits) should be distilled to 40% alcohol by volume. Since I was never a scientifically gifted child, I’m starting to question the foundation of my friendship with cocktails. I clearly need to spend more time getting to know them.
What I’m:
Reading: Bleak House, Charles Dickens
Listening to: 21st Century Breakdown, Green Day
Eating: Surryano Ham from Surry Farms
Drinking: Water
|